Go Big or Go Extinct
by Ardianna Keeper
Summary: The great war is over, the Kaiju have made sure of that. With both humanity and transformers at risk, two factions that once warred against each other will unite to hold out against the Kaiju. Citys and soldiers may fall, but the Jaegers, will not.
1. Chapter 1

**Long story short. . . I'm having to much fun. And I always wanted to do a story where Megatron wasn't as much of an ass.**

Episode 1 (Yes not chapter, this is going to be episodic) - RUN AWAY!

The first time Akima saw a category four Kaiju was then it came through Delta after cutting across the island as it layed waste to the city.

It was also the first time she was booking it through the streets away from said Kaiju. Usually she was long gone by the time they got to shore, but either this Kaiju was fast or the Jaeger team was slow; or she just had really rotten luck. Running through trashed streets and jumping over rubble, she didn't have time to look at the monster. Just be really thankful for her Parkour lessons. As she zipped and slid through the destroyed streets she couldn't help but think in this day and age everyone needed to have great cardio.

She could hear the Kaiju pounding the pavement in persecute, but just kept on moving, not wasting a breath to look behind her. Logic said to look for a place to hid the sound of the Kaiju's scrapping claws made it difficult to even think of a place. Much less look for one.

She vaulted over a car and slid under a power line. Where were the Jaegers? She glanced up that the damaged builds falling apart at the core, glass cracking, metal creaking. She could feel rather then hear a distant rhythmic boom that could only be Jaeger steps.

A downed pillar was resting on the foundation of another lay in her way. She raced up, fall back on her knees and slid under. Do it with style or not at all; of course the Kaiju just crushed the thing after her. She could hear the giant Jaeger getting closer but couldn't see it yet.

'Where the fuck are you!' she thought.

The Kaiju roared and she could see spit fly past her. She came to an intersection and bolted left, unfortunately tripping on break in the concrete.

"FUCK!" She went down and could have sworn she twisted her ankle. "Fuck." she hissed trying to get back to her feet. She froze and looked up.

The Kaiju roared, spit flying.

She scrunched up her face at the smell and tried not to think about Kaiju spit on her clothes. Not that she cared about her clothes but still gross.

The massive beast drove its head forward, aiming to swallow her whole. She closed her eyes, expecting the inevitable, when an odd buzzing sound followed by an impact passed by. She opened her eyes in time to see a shot of plasma impact with the Kaiju's massive head causing it to stumble back.  
She looked behind herself to see a Jaeger. It was massive, standing well over forty stories high. Its shoulders were broad, and its waist thin, with long legs supporting it all. The plating was smooth and organic, creating an almost alive feeling in the machine. Each arm ended with large metal five fingered hands, clawed at the end. The Jaeger was a mostly red base, with silver highlights dotting it. It's head was angular, the Visor completing the look from the battlemask. Its actual head was silver, with a blue stripe on running down the middle, and the visor was coloured an odd orange that reflected a mural of colours in the sunlight.  
It's right arm was shifted into a plasma cannon, still smoking from the shock. The Kaiju shook itself and glared at the Jaeger, roaring a challenge before charging at its metal opponent. She covered herself as it stepped over her, and the two titans clashed.

She scrambled to the side of the street adrenalin fuelling the need to get the heck out of the way. She hide behind some fallen rumble; then gazed up at the epic fight.  
The Jaeger raised one of its fists up and balled it together before slamming it on top of the Kaiju's head. The giant kicked its knee up at the same time, and thunder like crack echoed through the empty street.  
The Kaiju whipped backwards from the blow, stumbling to get its legs back under it before tumbling to the ground. Dust and debris kicked up as its jaw hit the ground and left a crater in the street. The creatures eyes showed pure fury, and it whirled back up, slamming its tail into the Jaeger.  
The titanium titan grabbed the tail, and heaved the Kaiju towards itself. The Kaiju screamed as the Jaeger dragged it and tried to break free. Instead, the Jaeger slammed one of its massive feet on its back, and there was the sound of a hydraulic hiss before several bolts slammed into its thick ugly hide.  
The Jaeger raised an arm, and its hand moved into its forearm. In a matter of seconds, the large powerful hand was replaced with a double edged blade gleaming in the sunlight. The Jaeger grabbed the Kaiju by the head with its other free head, and in one fluid motion, stabbed the blade through its skull.  
The massive beast let out a single scream of pain before its jaw and arms went slack. The Jaeger let it go, and the might creature hit the ground with a resounding crash...

Akima crept out from behind her make shift wall, hopping on her leg and gazed up at the huge metal titan. It Jaeger slowly turned it's head down to look at her. The deep orange visor glowed back at her. Most people would be daunted or frightened. But she stared up at Archon Maximus or the ultimate leader; in aw. Fear didn't even cross her mind as the great Cybertronian Jaeger stepped towards her and knelt down, perfectly balanced on its heels.

She tried to step forward but hissed as her heel complained and leaned back against the broken wall. She couldn't help but cringe, she didn't remember ankles hurting this much.

The Jaeger folded its legs under it's self to get closer to the ground and deactivated. After a moment the hatch at the top of the Jaeger and a red and silver bot got out; then jumped down to the ground landing with a thud. He was mass shifted like all the bots now, living and fighting with people a ten your size it plainly wasn't logical to remain giants. The silver mech still towered above her, easily seven feet tall.

She tried to move again but was greeted with stars before her eyes and crumpling to the ground in an ungraceful heap. 'Why does this hurt so fucking much?' rolled though her head. As the tall Cybertronian raced over to her.

"Are you all right." He asked kneeling down beside her, kicking up dust and pebbles in his haste.

"I'm fine but I think I sprained my ankle." she winced as the large red mech gingerly touched her right ankle.

"It is broken."

"How?" She started

"I ran a scan it."

"Oh."

"May I pick you up? The doctors at base can brace it and check for Kaiju blue."

"I don't have Kaiju blue." she sighed, at the bots concerned expression. "Fine it never hurts to check." she bent her left leg and put her braced her arms under her shoulders to make it easy for him to pick her up.

He shifted and slipped his arms under her shoulders and legs. Picking her up and holding her tight against is chest. She held onto is right pauldron.

"You ever told me your name." The big mech said, his deep baritone vibrating in her bones.

"Akima Lennox. You?"

"Optimus Prime."

"Ah, well that explains a few things." She smirked.

The mech laughed. "Aren't Lennox's famous for being stubborn and quick witted fighters?

Akima laughed. "Yup, that's me." she shook her head a bit. "I had a friend how had a complete geek out at my last name once. She said it fit me very well."

"Given how reports say you were running from that Kaiju for six blocks, fits quite well."

"You have no idea." she grinned.

The mech just chuckled and scaled the Jaeger.

As Optimus reached the top another mech all silver, at least a foot taller then Optimus with red optics climb out of the Jaeger and waited in the hatch.

"So this is the human that the Kaiju was hunting."

"Yeah well, I just had rotten luck today. Or." she passed. "Really good, seeing your guys timing."

"I doubt luck had anything to do with it human."

"Don't knock it till you've tried it toaster."

"We are helping this human why?" The silver bot asked Optimus.

"Stop calling me human and I will stop calling you toaster."

The silver mech glared at Optimus as he lowered Akima into his arms. "Then what would your designation be?"

"Akima Lennox and yours?" She said looking up into his smooth face, there looked like there had been scars around his lips but they had healed over or had been buffed out. His teeth were sharp and pointed like a shark.

"Megatron."

"Hmm." The new mech didn't let her hold onto him, but held her tighter as the jumped down to the Conn-Pod. She could feel his sharp talons press against her thighs and ribs but not cut through. An interesting show of care, she thought. It would be easy for his talons it slip and make her bleed.

"What? Huma, Akima." he corrected himself.

"Just thinking how you need to work on your manners, with Optimus as your other pilot I knew who you were. But I had to go out of my why for an introduction." She wiggled her finger in front of his smooth face.

"Rude Mech." she scolded.

Optimus laughed at the exchange. "She got you there Megatron."

Megatron looked down at the human as he gently set her on the floor. "You are the single most ballsy human I have ever met."

"I will take that as a compliment." she giggled. "You remind me of the terror twins."

"Sunstreaker and Sideswipe?" Optimus asked locking in on the left side.

"Yup, they come for drinks at the bar I worked at. They like human terms too."

"Megatron just spends to much time with the Jarheads back at base. Come on Megs move your aft."

Megatron growled. "I still remember I time when I would have disemboweled your for that." And locked into the right side.

"But that time is long passed old friend get used to it."

Megatron just grumbled and started up the Jaeger.

The two rose in sink and turned taking steps back the way they came. The Jaeger's great thundering steps jarring Akima. She held onto the grated floor to keep from moving with each step.

'That is so cool.' she gazed at the HUD display.

Optimus reached up and hit a button on the middle panel hanging from the ceiling.

"Archon Maximus reporting in, returning to base with civilian in need of medical attention."

"ETA?"

"About an hour to base."

"See yay then Prime. I'll have a medical team on stand bye."

Akima stayed silent for most of the trip, partly because she didn't what to distract the two, partly because she felt like she was getting paler and paler with each step.

By the time they arrived at the Alaska base, she felt like she was going to faint. Needless to say she was relieved when the titan was berthed and shut down. Megatron looked over to her, white faced and gripping the floor.

"You look pale human." he half growled.

"Thanks for noticing toaster." Akima braced herself against the wall and tried to pull herself back to her feet. Optimus disengaged and picked her up before she fell again.

"You do look pale." Optimus said.

"Well you two don't exactly have the smoothest ride out there." she grinned lazily.

Megatron lead the way out of the Conn-Pod as it docked and was assaulted by medics.

"Not me idiots her!" He pointed at Akima and Optimus coming out of the pod.

"What happened."

"Where does it hurt."

Akima could barely make since of one question in the blur of people. Everyone was getting very fuzzy. She pressed her face to Optimus smooth chest and tried to remember to breathe.

"Her ankle is broken." Optimus thankfully provided.

Next thing she knew her foot was getting attacked by prodding fingers.

"Does that hurt?" One of the stupid ones asked.

"Yes you fucking ASSHOLE!" she shrieked as he pressed on the top of her ankle.

"Sorry." he has the decently to look ashamed.

"Could someone go get Ratchet. BEFORE I FLAY YOU LOT FOR INCOMPETENCE!" Akima shouted and watched the medics run.

"You know Ratchet?" Optimus enquired.

"Yup, I work at a bar here in the dome. There was a fight between the humans and bots and I got my arm broken and he patched me up. Now whenever he comes in I give him free drinks and he said if I ever need medical assistance all I had to do was holler and as you can see. I've very good a hollering."

"Fight?" Megatron asked from his point leaning against the wall.

"I don't really recall, something about an airhead scratching Sunnys paint."

She could feel Optimus roll his optics.

"You work at Maccadam's Old Oil House then." Megatron said.

Akima grinned. "Yup, he wanted more human customers so he thought a human bartender would help and I quote 'You have a very appealing frame for both Cybertronians and humans.' So I got the job and after a few days, sure enough there are more humans coming in. But Jarheads will be jarheads and sometimes there are fights."

Megatron analysised the human in Optimus arms.

Short brown hair and deep brown almond shaped eyes, small nose he believed humans described it as a button nose. Small mouth relatively thin lips, her cheeks were soft and smooth and she had well . . . cute ears, he couldn't think of another word for them. On top of all that she had a very interesting skin tone, darker them most people in this region but lighter then any from Africa or India, not Spanish either. Hmm he couldn't quite pin her background. She was small about five, two he thought though it was hard to tell. Hourglass frame, small chest, with plenty on it he noticed. Nice curved hips, not skinny either in shape but, healthy he guessed was a good word. Had a sturdiness about her despite her size, a girl that could take a beating and walk away. She was soft in most respects though he could see the muscle on her body. He didn't fancy humans but he had to hand it to her she was appealing. All the right curves in all the right places. He shook his head, he was getting distracted.

"Where are you from?"

"British Columbia Canada."

"I mean ethnically."

"Here, my Mom was Canadian for at least five generations and my Dad came from England."

"You have a very strange skin tone then."

"Oh." she giggled. "That, well Mom used to say that I was the odd ball in the family, the Spanish and First Nations coming out. I'm the only one in my family with this skin tone."

There was some thumping coming from down the hall and a large orange and white bot stormed into the room. He was one of the oldest mechs she knew and had retained most of his old armour.

"Hiyea Ratchet!" Akima waved with her free arm, head swaying a bit.

Ratchet cleared of a table, swiftly. "Put her down Optimus, I know she is very soft and warm, but I can't treat her in your arms."

Megatron laughed at the flush that creeped into Optimus cheeks, as he put her down on the table and went and stood by Megatron.

"And here I was wondering why you hadn't put her down yet." Megatron laughed.

More energon rushed to Optimus cheeks. "Oh shut up."

"Oh no this is revenge for the comment about my aft earlier."

"Oh the both of you be quiet! I swear since you to stared drifting together you are like siblings again."

That shut Megatron up.

"Are they always like that?" Akima asked from her spot on the table.

"More often then not. Its hard to believe they were fighting each other for so long. After their first Drift they linked up and both stopped fighting. It was like someone had thrown a switch."

Akima winced as Ratchet gently poked her foot. "I guess when you are in someones head there are no secrets," she looked over at the two. "mutual understanding?"

Ratchet glanced up at her. "Something like that." He pulled some bandages out of his subspace. "It's just a minor fracture, should only take a few weeks to heal."

She flopped back on the table. "Great." her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Oh chin up, I'm sure either Optimus or Megatron would be happy to take you home."

Akima raised an eyebrow. "Why Megs?"

"Oh right I forgot a human's sense of smell is not as acute as a bots. I believe the human term for what he was doing before I can in was. Checking you out?"

"Great the toaster was checking me out."

Optimus looked a Megatron with a smirk on his lip plates.

"Not a word Optimus, not a word."

"Okay," he said slily. "I'll get the full appraisal next time we drift."

CLANG

"Ow." Optimus rubbed the back of his head.

"You deserved that one." said Megatron.

"If you to are quite done I need a ride." Akima grinned from her place on the table. "And I take it I don't have Kaiju blue and are free to go."

"Yup, I have to run, Ironhide sparing with the Twins."

"Ah." said Akima. "Have fun with that."

The medic rolled his optics and started out the door. "Keep those two in line won't you?" he said as he walked out the door.

"Wait! Since when is that in my job description!"

Ratchet's echoing laughter was her only response. She sat up the rest of the way and put her hands on her hips.

"So who is going to be my ride?"

The two mechs glanced at each other.

She just shook her head, she could swear that they were arguing over theirs coms. While they did that, she did her own 'Checking out' Megatrons famous bucket head was the same as when the Cybertronians first came to Earth, but the sharp pauldrons were gone in favour of smoother shoulder armour that wouldn't catch on anything. His chest plate was the same but smoother, and the spikes on his greaves were gone, though his lower leg armour was the same. No cannon on his arms, just smooth shiny armour.

Optimus had changed his armour far more and his alt mode, he had reverted to his pre Earth alt mode and now his chest was smooth. Two major red panels over what would be his pectorals, no windows, just smooth red metal. Under it there was a number of smaller silver panels all fitting together smoothly. As he breathed she could see them all flex and retract. Giving him a very refined organic feel, still heavy like Megatrons but more alive in a way. His pauldron's and bracers were toned down so they hugged closer to his frame, but still one piece solid metal. He's legs were much the same as before, just without the human tires.

She gave them both a good look; noting that most their other armor was much the same as when they arrived.

"Any time now boys."

Megatron gave Optimus a friendly punch on the arm and walked over. He had to bite his glossa to keep from purring from this position the view as truly exquisite. He had to hand it to humans, some females had lovely cleavage.

"If your done admiring the scenery. I would like to go home."

He scooped her up and held her against his chest and strode out of the room with Optimus in toe.

They got a few odd looks as the walked through the old metal halls. Akima just relaxed into Megatron's chest, she was tired after all the excitement today.

"Tired?" asked Megatron as Akima let her head fall on his smooth chest.

She sighed. "Yup, it's not every day that I end up running for my life from Kaiju, just most days."

Megatron chuckled. "Make a habit out of it do you?"

"No." she snuggled deeper into is chest. "Just rotten luck." She yawned and sighed familiar warmth of a Cybertronian frame creeping into her bones.

"I could say the same thing about humans." he rumbled.

Akima yawned "Hmm I think my adrenaline has worn off."

"I have noticed humans have a tendency to crash after an exciting day. Just how old are you?"

"Seventeen." she mumbled let her eyes flutter closed

"Hey, better tell me where you live before you fall asleep fleshy."

"So I'm allowed to fall asleep?" she grinned sleeply.

"Huff."

"I have an apartment above Maccadam's." she yawned and curled just a little, before slipping away.

Optimus looked down at the sleeping teen and grinned.

"Not one word Optimus." Megatron emphasized each word.

"I wasn't going to say anything." Optimus said looking up and holding his hands behind his back. "She is cute though." glancing back at the girl's soft features relaxing in sleep, eyes occasionally fluttering. "I didn't know you had a soft spot of human females."

"I don't."

"Sure you don't." Optimus grinned.

"Oh be quiet brother."

"As you wish."

Megatron just rolled his optics and growled at a marine that was staring in the hall. The two made there way and Megatron glared at anyone who glanced at them for more then a moment.

"And there goes your reputation." Optimus purred.

"After we take her home, your going to find my ped up your aft."

"I'd like to see you try brother." Optimus looked up the sky. "At least it is not precipitating."

"Thank Primus for small favours." Megatron said dryly.

His bundle mumbled for a bit before setting back down. Megatron shot Optimus a glare.

Optimus gestured that he was zipping his lips closed. Megatron just rolled his eyes at the younger mech.

The walk to Maccadam's was a fair distance but most of the populace left them alone or was sent running by Megatron's death glare.

By the time they arrived at the bar, patrons were just starting to trickle in. Maccadam was a fairly plan mech with an Iaconian tower on his helm and simple brown and black paint job. His mass shifted form put him at just above six feet tall. Strong chin with bright eyes; though the look of shock and worry on his face made them darken.

"What happened." He raced out from behind the bar and put a hand on her forehead. "She went south to visit family and wasn't supposed to be back for a few days."

Optimus took lead. "Delta has fallen, we found her running from the Kaiju and brought her back for medical attention."

"And her family?"

Optimus and Megatron glanced at each other. "We don't know."

Maccadam sighed. "Thank you for bring her home. Her room is the second on the left just put her on her bed and I'll sort her out later."

Megatron nodded and made his away to the back of the bar and then to the second floor to her room.

It was sparse but functional, a twin bed, dresser, desk and chair. He could only guess that there was a bathroom in the hall. He set her down on the bed and it creaked; then pulled off her shoes. He passed, her clothes weren't very clean. Carefully he undid the buttons on her shirt and pulled the filthy thing away and did the same with he pants before pulling a blanket over her. Hopefully she wouldn't mind his removal of her clothes. He swiftly left the room and made his way back down to the bar.

Optimus and Maccadam were talking.

"She is in her bed and I removed her dirty clothes."

"Good she hates sleeping in dirty stuff and I don't have to go up there and remove them myself." He sighed. "Thank you for bring her back. You two ever want anything let me know."

"We well keep that in mind." said Optimus and to Megatron. "We should head back and get some rest."

"Goodbye." Megatron said and walked out.

Optimus and Maccadam looked out after him. "He's changed."

Optimus smiled. "Not as much as you would think. I should go to, Farewell."

Maccadam nodded and Optimus zipped out to catch up with Megatron.

As he caught up and went back to a leisurely walk. "So, you like her." he grinned.

"So do you."

"So I guess we will be visiting Maccadam's more."

"Yes."

"Good."

Megatron glared at him.

"What?"

"Your horrible."

Optimus grinned. "Yes brother."

Megatron just sighed.

**So what do you think? And I hope you like my lighter versions of the characters, I've always wanted to do this but never found a good place. Reviews make the world go round people. PM me with any suggestions or ideas. I'd love to hear from you.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Fluff! 4000 words of fluff! I'm so proud of myself, if you read my other stuff fluff rarely come in. One last thing all my stuff is constantly getting edited. Thank you Paws for editing!**

Episode 2 – Home Sweet Home

Akima blinked slowly coming back into awareness and was instantly greeted with a stabbing pain in her ankle. She buried her face into her pillow.

"Ah fuck." she mumbled. She just lay there like that till her bra digging into her chest really got to be too much. Slowly she sat up and rubbed a hand through her filthy hair and pulled it free.

"Gross." It required little motivation after that to set out getting out of bed. Though, as soon as she put her ankle on the floor, the pain racing up her body, told her that was going to be difficult. She slumped, sitting at the end of her bed; then looked up. 'What time is it?' She glance up, she didn't have a window or clock, she was just in tune with the bar or Maccadam coming to wake her up. She sighed and put all her weight on one leg and stood up leaning against her bed. Then realizing she was just in her underwear. Where had her clothes gone? She glanced around the saw the filthy articles hung on her dresser.

She frowned when did that happen? The last thing she remembered was . . . she blushed a bright scarlet; thankfully no one was there to see it. She fell asleep in Megatron's arms; she let herself fall back into her bed, wincing as it creaked. How embarrassing; she rubbed her temples, well at least the chance of her ever seeing the two best Jaeger pilots they had ever again were very slim. Hopefully Maccadam would leave it.

She pushed her way back onto her foot and hopped over to her dresser, wincing every time her damaged foot accidentally tapped the ground. She pulled open the top of three drawers and pulled out plain black new matching undergarments and put them on the top of the dresser before pushing the old wood thing closed and pulling open the middle drawer as it complained against the slow movement.

Again, plain black V neck tank top and black slacks; putting them on top of the drawer with the underwear she tried to push the drawer shut. It refused to budge; she hopped back a bit and tried again. The drawer slid forward all at once and she fell forward and almost hit her head against the vile piece of furniture. Still she jarred her ankle as she fell flaying to the floor with a THUD; and broke her fall with her chin and busty chest, which was also complaining being landed on. 'Of all the undignified things I have done.' She rolled over. 'This takes the cake.'

"Ow." she put a hand on her chin and an arm around her chest. "Really not my day… Barely escaping from a Kaiju only to have my dresser try to kill me."

Her door burst open as Maccadam blasted into her room. Taking a moment to find her on the floor, "What was that!? I heard a thud."

Akima looked up sheepishly. "My dresser tried to kill me."

Maccadam frowned and shook his head. "I thought we went through this when you broke your arm."

"I know." she pulled her good leg to her butt and grabbed her dresser to help her to her good foot. Maccadam walked over and looped an arm around her chest and she let him pick her up.

"And what did I say when you broke your arm?"

She sighed. "To ask for help, but I can handle it!" she squawked as he raised her from the ground.

"You say that as you fall flat on you aft."

"Breasts technically."

"You are the most stubborn human I have ever met." Maccadam rolled his eyes and let her grab her clothes from the top of the dresser, before walking out into the hall and to the bathroom.

"So I have been told." she looped an arm around his shoulder to hang on. "I seem to be making a habit out of this."

Maccadam raised an optic ridge, "Getting carried around?"

"Yup." she smiled.

He chuckled and pushed open the door to the bathroom with a ped. "Well get used to it." He set her down in the shower stall and took her clothes from her and put them on the counter. "Ratchet is already downstairs waiting for you; he probably figured that you would need your ankle tended to."

"That's Ratchet for you." she pulled the shower curtain closed and pulled of her bra and held it out for Maccadam. This was a well rehearsed dance. She started to wriggle out of her underwear and was faced with a problem by the time she got to to her ankle. She gave a frustrated huff.

"Need help?" Maccadam asked; the cheek evident in his voice.

"No."

"Really?"

She gave a great sigh, "Maybe a little."

He put his arm around the curtain and she grabbed it and hopped away from the garment; before kneeling down grabbing and hurling the offending garment at the mirror of the small bathroom. The bathroom was functional but with little else; sink, shower and toilet all within a couple steps of each other.

"I'm good now."

"I'll be back in twenty to check on you."

"Sounds good," She turned one the taps and was assaulted with cold water. "YEEK!" she shrieked as she fumbled for the hot water.

Maccadam gave a deep bellowing laugh. "I'll be surprised if people downstairs didn't hear that."

"Oh, shut up." she growled.

Maccadam just laughed harder and closed the door.

She set about getting the Kaiju spit out of her hair. It was a long process and her good leg didn't take long to get tired. She managed to get the rest of her and her ankle to some extent, well at least she didn't smell like Kaiju spit anymore. She leaned against the wall of the small cubical; turned off the water and waited for Maccadam; from her little adventure with the dresser of doom, even she'd admit it would be stupid to try and hop out of the shower. Sure enough Maccadam gave her just enough time to start shivering before coming to her rescue.

"You done?" he asked as he pulled the second biggest fluffy towel from the rack behind the door.

"Yes and freezing my butt off."

He pulled the wet curtain back a bit and handed her the fluffy bright red down that almost reached her ankles. She pushed herself off the wall and wrapped it around her shoulders; quickly feeling much warmer.

"I'm good." she said through still chattering teeth.

Maccadam pulled the curtain back and wrapped an arm around her chest while she held onto the towel and lifted her gently out of the wet stall and onto the rug in front of it.

"Holler when you are done." He said and left her alone.

She carefully hopped over to the toilet holding onto the counter and sat down; then started on drying off. Oh how she hated being injured; at least getting dressed was easier them getting undressed. By the time she had manged her clothes on and ranked a comb threw her hair, she was quite feed up with her ankle; it didn't help her mood as it throbbed.

"Maccadam." she called out, he would hear. No need to shout.

Surely enough a moment later Maccadam stepped into the room.

"You look like a ... kicked puppy, I believe the term is."

"My ankles hurts." she whined.

"Uh-huh." he regarded her like a child, with a smile on his lips. "I'm sure it does." He walked over and let her loop her arms around his neck as he picked her up. "Better not whine to Ratchet, you know want he is like."

"He'll just glare, I'm to squishy for him to use is infamous wrenches on."

Maccadam just shook his head and descended the creaking stairs to the bar.

The room was circular with the bar in the centre it was a medium sized room which had booths all around the outside and a few in between the bar and walls. The room was well lit with soft yellow light and around centre was alight with different drinks human and Cybertronian on display. The bar as always was filled with patrons human and bot. As soon as he walked through the door-

"The little minx is back!"

"How's the ankle kid!?"

-A cacophony of voices rose to greet her, one stood out among the rest.

"Oh shut up you idiots! I haven't treated her ankle yet!"

She sighed and rested her head on Maccadam's shoulder. "I think Ratchet is my second favorite mech right now."

"Second favorite?" Maccadam raised a brow.

"You being favorite Oh chauffeur." she grinned.

"Of course," He set her on the stool beside Ratchet.

Ratchet regarded her pale form with concern. "What was the thud earlier?" he asked as he gently lifted her foot into his lap and ran a scan over it.

"I fell." she said sheepishly.

"It looks like you fell flat on your face." he said and started unwrapping the temporary bindings.

Akima bit her lip. "My dresser tried to kill me."

Ratchet looked up from his work. "So you survive a Kaiju only to die by dresser."

"What can I say? It hates me. Ow!" she yelped as he pressed the top of her foot.

"You moved the bone when you fell, I just put it back." Ratchet said flatly.

"Oh."

"There." he pulled a metal brace out of his sub space and more bandages and started to wrap up her foot again. "Same rule as with your arm."

"Don't move it." she sighed.

"That means no hobbling about."

"That was just that one time."

"No."

"But!"

"If you like I can break your other leg."

"Fine." she pouted arms crossed over her chest.

"Good girl." Ratchet set out clamping the metal brace to her foot.

"Oh shut up." she stuck her tongue out.

"Put that away and go back to bed. Oh and no walking for a least three weeks, it's just a fracture not a break so it won't be too bad." Ratchet put the remains of his supplies away.

"Oh chauffeur!" she threw her arms up.

Maccadam laughed. "And here I was thinking you'd like to wait till Megatron and Optimus come back." he said smugly.

"Their coming back?" she squawked.

"That's what's being floating around. Apparently you left quite the impression."

She blushed scarlet. "I've only been out for a couple of hours, how does everyone know."

"Optimus's blinding grin and Megatron's scowl can speak volumes." said Ratchet snickering.

"So don't be surprised if they come around." Maccadam said.

"But!-"

"Nope," Maccadam reached over the bar and put a finger on her lips. "Get used to it." he grinned. "And I'm sure both Optimus and Megatron will find your blushing face very cute."

She blushed harder and Ratchet laughed harder.

"Oh chin up." Maccadam lifted her chin a bit. "I can't think of many femmes that would complain about having those two's attention."  
"I'm human!"

"And the terror twins are bots, doesn't spot them from experimenting," said Ratchet. "And our two species are compatible."

"ACK!-" Akima curled up and covered her ears. "Don't need the lesson Hatchet!"

"You might want it later." he smirked.

"Can I please go upstairs now?" She whined. "Before Hatchet tries to give me the talk."

"No." Maccadam stated flatly.

"Please." she whined.

"Oh come off it, Ratchet won't torture you anymore. For now, he might later if I see the need."

"Not you too."

"I've taken care of you this long haven't I? I send you down to visit your uncle and you come back damaged and I promised your mother I would take care of you. If I think you will benefit from a lesson with Ratchet that is what you will get." He put a servo on his hip and glared at her.

"Yes dad." Akima mumbled.

Maccadam walked over to small fridge behind the bar and pulled a jug that she couldn't see and poured something into a tall glass before replacing it and turning to her.

"You have a bone to fix." He set a tall big place of chocolate milk in front of her and watched her face light up like the sun.

"Yay!" Akima wasted no time taking the cup and having a long drink, only to have her stomach announce that it was now hungry. After a few long swallows she put it down only to be reward with Ratchets echoing laughter.

"What?" she asked innocently.

"Milk moustache." stated Maccadam smiling.

"Oh…" She licked her lips and smiled.

Maccadam award her with a plate of spaghetti.

"How do you do that?" Akima asked.

"What?" He asked.

"Always have food ready."

"I've taken care of you less last two years haven't I? Gave you a job when you were old enough. Your Mom used to work here and bring you along." He leaned on the contour. "If there is one thing I am familiar with it is your eating habits you bottomless pit. If you don't have something to eat when you get up your a zombie."

"True." she said after a big bite of spaghetti. "But I thought you have me the job because I had an 'appealing frame'." she hand little quote marks with her fingers before going back to her food.

"If I said I was hiring you because of your mother would you have stayed?"

"Probably not." she said around of mouthful of spaghetti.

"There you go and don't talk with your mouth full."

Akima glared over the rim of her milk glass though the new moustache made it hard for her to look very threatening.

Maccadam just shook his head. "Finish your food then I will let you go back to bed."

She played the customary 'Can't talk eating card.'

Just as she finished her food and drink, the bar door opened and two mechs came in. One grumpy and painted bright yellow the other all smiles and painted red.

The red one sneaked across the room and ruffled her hair.

"Ack!" Akima flayed on her stool before the red mech caught her. "Sideswipe!"

"Hello little one." he gave he a tight gentle hug.

"Would you not do that!" she glared.

"And spoil my fun, tiny?"

"You're hopeless," she wheezled out of his arms.

"You need to lighten up." he grinned danced his finger tips up and down her sides.

"No, no, no, no!" she tried to bat his hands away. "Ratchet! Protect me!"

"Nope you're on your own, Akima." Ratchet took a sip of his high grade.

Sideswipe grabbed her hips and carefully spun her to face him and sent out on his usual merciless ticking game.

"No, stop, stop!" Akima tried to breathe through the vicious attack; as she giggled and squawked. "My ankle's hurt I could hit it!"

Sideswipe stopped. "All right you get off just this once."

She tried to regain her breath; Sunstreaker sat down beside her as she glared at the twin as he snuck a servo to her side and gave his usual little tickle.

She glared at him and he pretended not see.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker; the Terror Twins and her unofficial elder brothers. Who took every delight is sneaking her treats, teasing and playing with her since she was a child. Two complete elder brothers with all that entailed. When she had been just a toddler to a single mother, who worked at a Cybertronian bar; said toddler often needed supervision. Not even the grumpy Sunstreaker withstand her cute ray for long, one day they came in with some new toys for her, a stuffed cat, (which hid under her blanket) and a set of paints.

Sunstreaker took it upon himself to teach a seven year old some hand eye coordination, and Sideswipe played with her till she fell asleep. Though there was a few games of hide-an-seek (that are best not mentioned) and so a route was established. Every other day sometimes more often the twins would come with their stories; goofy care and play with her. As she got older they would often take her away from the old bar in Vancouver and all around the area. Book stores, parks, movie theatres; nothing was off limits. When a Kaiju came through Vancouver two years ago and her mother died, Akima moved north with Maccadam; all her fun ended and she mopped for two months before her brothers came back and worked her out of sad mood. They had been as thick as thieves ever since.

"Hiya, Hatchet! How are you?" Sideswipe threw and arm around the elderly doctor's shoulders. "I only just fixed your arm unless you want it broken again you will move it." The grumpy doctor said.

Sideswipe just patted his shoulder. "You won't, you'll just make more work for yourself."

"Hfff."

Sideswipe stepped back to Akima and threw an arm around her mid section lifted her up took her seat and plopped her back down on his lap.

"Sides!" she squirmed. "I'm not a kid anymore!"

"Naa, you'll always be our youngling." He ticked her side.

"Stop." she giggled.

"All right," He moved his arm and wrapped it around her middle, "so how's the ankle, kid."

She lifted her foot up so Sideswipe could see new brace. "Ratchet fixed it, but won't let me walk for at least three weeks."

"So I'll have to come around and keep you company."

"Don't you have a Jaeger to pilot?" she looked up at him.

"My alt's not a Lambo for nothing little one. Maybe I can even talk Bulkhead and Miko into coming along. Just so you don't drive Maccadam insane."

"A little late for that don't you think?" A rag hit her square in the face with a thwap! How Maccadam had such good aim with his rags, she would never know. She pulled the wet rag from her face and waved it.. "Hey Maccadam I think you dropped something."

The old bartender came around the table and snatched the rag. "You want anymore chocolate milk you will keep those comments to yourself."

Akima made a face of mock horror. "You wouldn't dare!"

He rested an arm on the counter. "Try me youngling."

Akima snapped her mouth shut and made zipped her lips.

"Good girl."

Sideswipe chuckled. "The best way to keep you in line is to hold your chocolate milk ransom."

"Hey! I am girl who works in a bar, who also won't touch alcohol with a ten foot poll!"

"Not that anyone here would let you." Sunstreaker pointed out.

"Point." she tilted her head and pointed.

"Uh hmm." he went back to his drink.

"So what's this I hear about you running like a cheetah away from a category four?" He said like a brother.

"Rotten luck." she pouted.

"Oh?"

"I was helping with evac and got caught outside of the shelter; with my luck the Kaiju found me and I'm sure you've heard the rest."

"Saw actually. Some of the street cams in the area still worked and Raf got visual; looked like you made good use of your lessons with Jazz."

"I'm faster at getting around a city then you are now." She relaxed into his chest, the familiar warmth seeped through his lightly armored his frame oozing calm.

"Not right now you're not."

"Oh right." she looked down at her foot again.

"Hmm." Sideswipe looked down at her.

"What?"

"You look like you're on the verge of crashing."

Akima yawned, "long day."

"Come on then, I'll give you a lift so Maccadam doesn't half to."

"Aww, I don't want to go to bed." she yawned again.

"Only a few minutes ago you were saying that you did." Ratchet said smirking.

"Well duh, you were threatening to give me the sex talk."

"Wow!" Sideswipe looked down at the female still seated in his lap. "Why would you be needing that?"

"Damn." she cursed under her breath.

Sunstreaker gave her the evil eye. "What was that?"

"Nothing!" she sat straight in Sideswipes lap with her hands in her lap.

"You still haven't answered the question femme."

Akima shrunk away from Sideswipe. "It's nothing."

Ratchet cut in again just to watch her squirm. "Catching the eye of Optimus and Megatron is not nothing youngling."

"Ratchet!"

"Hold up." Sunstreaker finally engaged in the conversation. "When did this happen?"

"The two rescued her hide as you know and both ended up quite taken with her. That and Megatron has been glaring at Optimus for an hour; and Optimus looking unusually smug. That and both were enjoying her company when they docked." said Ratchet.

"Well hot damn. Way to aim high girl." Sideswipe grinned.

"Sides!" Akima shouted face glowing red.

"Hahaha, made you blush."

"I hate you." she pouted arms over her chest.

"I know you love me."

She stuck her tongue out.

"You don't put that away or a fly will land on it."

"Yuck!" she screwed up her face at the thought.

"I'm going to kill those two." Sunstreaker growled.

"Now Sunny there's no need for that they haven't touched her yet. After, I will help you." Sideswiped joked.

"Arg, you two are horrible." Akima hurried her face in her hands. "Are you to going to kill any boyfriend I ever get? If I ever get one?"

"Yes." was unanimously said by her brothers.

Akima groaned and let her head fall on Sideswipes chest. "Primus, kill me now."

"Cheer up Akima, Optimus and Megatron could probably beat the twins in a fight. You might be stuck with them just for that." Ratchet purred.

"Remind me to paint you pink at the next available opportunity." she grumbled.

"That one is getting old."

"Fine I'll hide all your wrenches." she grinned looking up at Ratchet.

His optics narrowed. "You wouldn't dare." he growled.

She leaned over. "Try me."

He smirked. "I'm sure the pilot's of Archon Maximus will."

Blush lit up her face again. "I yield." she put her hands up in surrender.

"Aww, you practically went down without a fight." Sideswipe said. "I'll even help you relocate his wrenches."

"You try winning against him, and I don't live at the dome, so I can't make good on any threats."

"Well I will act on your behalf little sis."

"Why thank you big bro, just don't get caught."

"Ah, do I ever."

"Yes." Everyone said.

Sideswipe put his own hands up in surrender.

Many eyes rolled.

Akima yawned again, a genuine I'm tried yawn.

"Alright that's enough off to bed with you, Sideswipe if you would be so kind." Maccadam said.

"Sure thing." he manoeuvred her to carry her bridal style upstairs before she even registered what happened.

"Ni-night." she yawned again waved.

"Goodnight." came from most everyone in the bar. They all knew her, some for most of her life.

Sideswipe dropped her off by the bathroom and after she was done carried her to her room again.

"Maccadam should really get you a new bed one of these days." he said though all he got was a sleepy murmur.

He set her down on her desk; then pulled fresh bedding from the bottom of her dresser as well as pajamas that he put on the top of the dresser. Then he fixed up her bed; new pillow all fluffed up with her wore out kitty next to her head. Helping her out of her clothes was second nature and into her plain blue pajamas (though they still had cartoon yawning kitten heads on them) and tucked her in. He had done this countless times over the years.

She snuggled down into her nice fresh smelling pillow. Sideswipe knelt down then pushed a stray lock of hair out of her face.

"Goodnight little sister." He kissed her forehead the way a brother might.

"Night Sides." she mumbled.

Sideswipe patted her head again and slipped silently across the same room and softly shut the door behind him.

**Sorry no Optimus or Megatron, but I have a personal vendetta against flat Oc's. So I hope you like Akima so far, she is a bit to stubborn and independent for her own good; And Goofy. XD On a different note, I'm not sure how I'm going to bring Optimus and Megatron back in probably with the most embarrassment to Akima possible, but I don't know. So Review or PM, I will try to get back to you. Please Review! **


	3. Chapter 3

**This is set in the same time range as the previous chapter. Sorry this is shorter my wrist was killing me, it better now but was really bad for a while, never play ten hours of skyrim on a computer boys and girls you will regret it.**

Episode 3 - Way too much fun with this

The walk back towards the dome was quiet for the two brothers. If you count Megatron's scowl and Optimus grin as quiet, may people saw the pair take a human home. Those who didn't see it now had heard about it. So just about everyone could guess what had happened.

They made there way to the mess hall. It was large room with high stretching ceilings and large pillars to support it. There was a human cafeteria constructed of stainless steel on one side and on the other an Energon cube dispenser. Several stair ways dotted the walls leading in and out of the large room. Few pipes lead into this room and the concrete was somewhat cleaner here than the rest of the base but only somewhat.

Stainless steel tables were all lined up neatly and orderly, their legs bolted to the floor. Two large monitors were placed on either end of the room with several smaller tvs spaced about the room with various news, sports, and other media on display. Optimus grabbed them both an energon cub and sat down at a mostly empty table, the only other occupants were was far away as possible.

Optimus sat down and offered Megatron his cube. "You have been silent." he said cautiously.

"Thinking," Megatron took is cube and stared down into it.

"About?" Optimus promoted.

"The girl."

"What is there to think about?" Optimus took a sip of his energon.

"How long would you like the list?" Megatron growled. "Her life span is not even a fraction of ours, she can't bond." he growled more to himself as if he hated just entertaining such thoughts.

"And we could die tomorrow." Optimus said calmly "I fail to see the difference."

"She still can't bond."

Optimus analysised his equal and opposite, "You are already thinking about bonds?"

Megatron took a sip of his energon.

Optimus caught the hint. "We do not know if she can't bond, no one has ever tried to bond with a human. And don't you think we should get to know her before entertaining such thoughts?"

"Of course," Megatron growled. "The question still remains how to do that."

"I fail to see the problem." Optimus said the corner of his lips turned up just a little as he took another drink of his energon.

"We can't just start going to Maccadam, people will wonder why? We already have far too much attention from the humans."

"No they won't." Optimus said flicking his head at their audience.

Megatron just growled and drained his cube before staking off.

Optimus flipped around so he could rest is back on the table and swirled his energon cube. He rest and arm on the table and stretched all his muscles; and listened to the femmes swoon. He just smirked and finished his cube. The poor human females were unaware of how keen Cybertronian hearing could be. He knew that both him and Megatron were ranked 'Hottest males on base' by the resident females of both species. He smirked and worked on his energon; perhaps he should arrange a little prank with the twins and involving the wash racks.

Really give those femmes something to gossip about, he flexed again just for the hell of it. The similarities between the two species were really rather astonishing, even if they made sense. Primus was the creator of Cybertronians, and Unicron of humans; same base life form to grow from. He finished his energon, yeah he needed to go have a talk with the twins sometime soon. He need to wash is protoform anyway; human females thought their males were well muscled; wait until they got a load of this.

He got up and started out of the room, putting both empty cubs in the recyclers. Perhaps he could even talk Megatron into it, or just have him there. 'Hmmm, where would he find those twins.' the thought clicked; med bay. Knowing those two they would be there.

He wove his way through the long halls of cement and pipes. The med bay was towards the centre of the compound, far from harm; sure enough as he got closer.

"Ouch that hurts Hatchet!"

"You should have known better then to try that aft-head stunt!"

The Med bay was composed primarily of the standard grey concrete the rest of the shatterdome was composed of. Water stains and cracks could be seen at the corners and around the piping that raced along the wall where every once in a while, bouts of steam would erupt. There were several slanted pillars running against the sides of the walls supporting the relatively large size of the structure. Bright florescent lights hung from the ceiling bathing the area in bright light.

Several Berths were lined up symmetrically along each end. Trays of medical equipment were lined up against each berth as well, the equipment neatly packaged and sterilized for when the time came for use. A Sparkbeat monitor was setup next to each berth as well, each one glowing faintly in sleep mode in case disaster struck. It had all of the best equipment available, as it was a well know fact around base was to give Ratchet what he wanted or was more commonly called 'Never Piss off the Medic' rule number one of the base; the second rule being 'don't piss off Megatron'. Optimus walked into the room to see Sideswipe getting his shoulder repaired. Sunstreaker was rolling his left wrist in circles as if trying to clear kinks.

"You're done." Ratchet grumbled, "I have somewhere to be," he walked out "Prime." he nodded his head.

"What's up Optimus?"

Optimus leaned against the wall. "I was hoping you could help me with a bit of a ... distraction."

"Oh!" Sideswipe liked where this was going.

"You are aware of the gossip that goes around base?"

"You mean the list? Yeah, you lucky sod."

"I would like to . . . shake things up a bit."

Sideswiped grinned. "What did you have in mind?"

"Humans are very modest; I was thinking it would be interesting to see how they react to a bare protoform."

"Yours?" Sideswipe's look positively devilish.

"And perhaps Megatron if I can talk him into it."

"Just how bare?"

"Wash racks bare."

"Ooohh. I see there this is going; going to give the femmes something to gossip about."

"And given human modesty they will leave us alone for a bit, or blush."

"Optimus, you sly dog," Sideswipe laughed, "Using the human's easy embarrassment against them."

"You know you're going to get ogled after this right?"

"They will look, but they will find other things to look at when I'm around." Optimus grinned.

"Does Megatron know you are this devious?"

"I don't think he has seen it in play."

Sideswipe grinned. "I can't wait to see this in play."

"Likewise," Optimus grinned. "I take it you can take care of it."

"Don't worry about it Big Bot, when are you going to wash?"

"Soon, I'm going to see if I can get Megatron to come as well."

Sideswipe snickered and even Sunstreaker cracked a grin.

"Just comm me when you two go in and we will do the rest."

"Thank you, Sideswipe."

"No problem, Boss Bot. I would have probably come up with it eventually, but having your permission is going to make this all the sweeter."

Optimus just shook his head with a grin on his lips. "Expect a com shortly."

He started out of the room and back towards the barracks, he and Megatron shared a room; the fore mentioned mech was likely there. The unlocked and pushed the heavy steel door inward and found Megatron lying on his berth staring up at the ceiling on his half of the room.

When the base was under construction, great debate had been placed between Optimus and Megatron over the luxury of their shared quarters. Optimus believed that as little space as possible should be taken so that more room could be taken while Megatron wanted more space believing it to better show his status as the leader of the Decepticons. In the end they had compromised, settling with an average room with average furnishings.

It had the typical concrete design and pipes flowed through the walls, but it was slightly cleaner than other parts of the base mostly in part due to the insistence of both leaders to keep their rooms cleaned. There were two hollowed out areas on the left and right side were their berths lay for them. On one side of the room, a clean and well kept purple terminal glowed ominously, Megatron's work terminal.

On the other end of the room was a terminal and large desk extending from its right side. Papers blueprints and other miscellaneous items were scattered around the glowing green terminal. Contrary to popular belief, Optimus did not keep a clean work space. But ignoring these features the room itself was fairly barren with noting truly unique about it.

The only other feature was a bookshelf mounted to the wall above Optimus' berth filled to the brink with data pads. An ode to his days as an archivist, he still loved to read. Many of the pads were from the Archives; mostly history and mythology (which are sometimes is the same thing), but now there was the occasional human novel mixed in. Though he would never admit it; Megatron did occasionally borrow Optimus's books.

Optimus sat on his berth and looked over at Megatron.

"You look like you have something to say." said Megatron less raspy than usual.

"Just thinking," Optimus sighed and reached under his berth and pulled out two towels and some cleanser. "Wash racks. You coming?"

Megatron looked over, "Sure." he mimicked Optimus's earlier movement.

The two started down the wall to the wash racks, they weren't far.

: Sideswipe, we are on route:

: Already taken care of Boss Bot. Enjoy your shower:

Optimus was sure Sideswipe was smiling.

The wash racks were possibly the only room in the base not composed of visible concrete or pipes, the walls and floors of the room were covered in tiles. A long steel bench stretched across the washing area itself with several shower heads glinting in the light.

There was also a separate area for placing armor and clothing and such and where the two shower areas split into gender based zones. Femmes one side, mechs the other. All in all, a functional wash racks for any small group of Cybertronians.

He gave the whole room a quick look over and noticed a new glint in the corner of the room closest to him. He had to work to control his lips, so that's what the Twins had in mind. Well he wouldn't disappoint.

Megatron raised a brow.

"No one else is here, might as well take advantage."

Megatron nodded and set about removing his armor. Pauldrons, bracers, greaves and finally cuirass; bit by bit revealing human like muscle structure, thick biceps and thighs, a toned chest that would make any femme swoon. All dark smooth metal that flexed and glinted as he rolled his shoulders. Unlike Optimus Megatron was (pardon the pun) built like a tank. While Optimus went up and very well defined his allure was more refined. Megatron on the other hand was pure corded muscle on a tall frame that upped just how much he could have. He and Optimus were very similar in most all respects, Megatron was the larger mech. Megatron even without his armor he cut, if possible, an even more opposing figure.

Optimus hit the catches on his helm and pulled the old piece of metal off his head with a sign and ran a hand over his skull. Played with the thin black plates for a moment and looked up. "What?"

"Just strange seeing you without your helm," Megatron pulled his infamous bucket of and set it down on the bench and ran his servo over his own much thicker organized black plates. (Before anyone rages at me there is a picture somewhere on tfwiki, where this is shown, I looked for it but for the life of me couldn't find. But I know it is there. So if anyone sees it, it would be brilliant if they could send me a link.)

"How do you do that?" Optimus asked.

"What?"

"Keep them so organized? Mine go every which direction." He caught a metal lock for emphasizes.

"Never thought about it, perhaps my helm is just better for it."

Optimus laughed. "At least it doesn't grow like a human male's."

Megatron chuckled a little at that before discarding the last piece of his armor and turning the water on.

Optimus removed the last of his armor and stretched like Megatron, lithe black blue body completely on display. Perfectly built muscle among other this shining just a bit in the light, he made a show of stretching his neck and crossed over to the shower; water cascaded over his frame. He put his arms behind is head and stretched again, a barely audible moan escaped his lips.

"Enjoying that are you?"

"Come now brother, when was the last time we got to wash our protoforms?" Optimus hit the water off and walked back the benches and picked up his towel and cleaners and started on his form. Ankles up.

"Point taken," Megatron mirrored him.

The camera had an excellent image of the two Cybertronians. Shining with soap and completely bare all their assets on display.

: What's going on Optimus, you look like your fighting a grin. :

: Look over my right shoulder. :

After a pause, :A camera?:

: Yes.:

: And?:

: I felt that it was time to have some fun with the humans. :

: So that's why you are standing like that. :

Optimus grinned. : Well we are already on the top of the list, might as well give them more data.:

: No one is going to able to look at us again. :

: That was the idea. :

Megatron changed the leg he had rested on the bench to give the camera an unobstructed view of his greatest asset.

: I wonder if it's streaming live: said Megatron.

: Perhaps the Twins have hacked the screens in the mess hall to display it."

: We are having way too much fun with this: Megatron said as he finished up and walked back over to the showers, but this time remained facing Optimus. If anyone wanted to they could take measurements.

It took all of Optimus's willpower to not face palm there and then. Optimus walked back to the shower, while he didn't so blatantly display but he was angled just right.

The pair finished up quickly after that, armor up and set off back to their quarters, half way there a comm came in.

: Optimus come to the mess hall there is something you should see. : After a pause. : I think the human males might be traumatized. : Arcee said.

Optimus nodded to Megatron and they changed direction.

They entered a full but silent room; all eyes fixed on the screens. Sure enough they there were in the showers. Wet, soapy and so very naked.

: The Twins are fast. : Megatron .

: That they are. :

: I think the human males are jealous. :

Optimus scanned over the crowd, the females looked horny and the males… jealous was a good word choice.

: Did you two know about this. : Arcee came in over both there comms and waved from her spot on the far side of the wall."

: Perhaps. : They said in unison.

Arcee just shook her head. : The humans are going to take forever to get over this.:

: Yes. :

: You two are horrible, though I will have to show this to Ratchet when he comes back. He'll get a hoot out of this. :

: I think every Cybertronian will, it's the humans with the problem with nudity. : Megatron said.

: I think the men are still trying to process that your junk puts them all to shame. :

: We should head back, if we are seen here people are going to wonder why we are not calling for the Twin's heads. :

: Just wait till morning, and then we will see the full effect of this. :

Optimus and Megatron practically snuck back to their room and had some much needed rest.

When they went for energon the following morning, everyone in the room looked up then promptly down save the mechs in the room. Who just grinned and shook their heads.

: I see it worked. : Megatron said looking around at the humans who were doing there damnest to not look at him.

: Did I not say that it would? : Optimus took a set at their usual spot, while Megatron collected cubes.

Talk started up again as the two mechs settled in.

: So shall we go find our femme before this wears off? : Optimus said.

: Sounds like a plan. :

The two mechs quickly finished their energon and set of the Maccadam's Old Oil House. No one had the guts to look at them twice.

**You like? This was to much fun and yes I was poking at humans. Please Review, more fuel for the fire and tell me what you think. If anyone has a clever prank, let me know, I'm a sucker for them. (And that's a really good prank in real life, but shhhh that's just between us) REVIEW, I will try to get back to you.**


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